I suppose it will take much more than changing my blog URL and name to get me to start posting three times a week again, hahh. To be honest, I've been feeling sort of underwater lately. For the past few weeks I haven't felt like the same confident young person that I felt like this past fall. I don't know where she went. Is it because of the season? Because of winter quarter; being smack dab in the middle? I mean, I understand that people change quickly and no one is in a constant state of security. I guess I just feel discouraged by this sensation of backsliding. I don't feel as trusting as I once did; I have more self doubt and insecurities. Yet I can't even exactly place where the feelings are coming from. My life is revolving around school work and this quarter and my new job at The Falcon and just everything academic. Which is good and important. But what else is there?? I feel trapped inside my brain and it's wearing me down. I guess I feel like I haven't had of time for pleasure or hobbies. Or, like, shopping??? Don't forget, I used to be a full-blown fashion blogger, you guys. Thrifting used to be a hobby of mine and now I can't even remember the last time I went. I also just feel like there's been a lack of good ol' adventuring. It's definitely getting to me.
I don't want to only focus on the heaviness of my mind, because that's (of course) not all there is. Every weekend is beautiful and I get to spend time with Ben and relax and just not worry for a couple days. The weekends give me a little bit of time to remember why I started and to go over my mindset and organize the compartments of my life just a little bit better. This weekend I'm going to see The Head and the Heart at the Paramount so that's definitely a reason to be excited. I dunno, I guess I just need to take a dust buster to my brain and clean it out a bit. And of course, make the most out of each day. That's always the goal. xx E
* photo of me taken by rachael.
* photo of me taken by rachael.
currently listening to // baths – you're my excuse to travel
I love The head and the heart. I hope you get some clarity, remember we control what we feel and how we look at the world. Try meditating or something that takes you to a positive place instead of letting the insecurities fill your life.
ReplyDeleteDarling don't forget to turn to the Lord for refreshment! Great post - you are always in my prayers <3
ReplyDeleteWoah. I've been feeling the same way. God has plans for those who have lived with such though. He gives us minds that think sometimes boundlessly because He knows we can be the ones to leave a great impact. Thanks so much for all you post Elanor. You are my favorite blogger. 100%.
ReplyDeleteP.s. I miss the name missing lovebirds, but moth speaker is a lovely name too. Reminds me of Lord of the Rings. :)
I like the name, it's unusual and unique. Gorgeous photos :)
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