Hey friends. Unfortunately, I'm feeling down right now. Remember the Worldly Matters I was talking about in my last post? Well, they are very real and suddenly, my personal life, my love life, my everything is changing. For reasons I'm not going to get into here on my blog, my boyfriend is going to be gone for a month+. These are not positive reasons, either. I just got back from seeing him for 1 hour, but this could be the last time until he comes back. It hasn't completely hit me yet; I don't know when I'll start bawling. I'm hoping I can keep control. Surprisingly, I'm handling this well. I feel like I've matured. And this is what I'm about to get in to...
2010 was, overall, a fantastic year. I can remember the awesome things far more than the bad things. I feel like, as a person, I've truly become myself. Or, rather, I'm learning about who I am. I feel like I have a better understanding of me, and the people around me, and just how the world works. I'm still progressing, but I truly feel like there is something bigger out there. My mind has been stretched.
I don't know, or care who is going to read this post - the post without any pretty photos or cheery words - but I'll post it anyway. It's time to get real.
2011 is about growing and finding myself even more. It's about learning what I want out of myself and what I want for my future. I'll be finishing my Junior year of highschool, and starting my Senior year. I'll be looking for colleges. I'll be posting even more on this damned-beautiful thing we call a blog. With all you wonderful people.
2010, you started with me and Derek laying under the stars in a sleeping bag staring at into the night's sky as 12 o'clock hit, and the cheers started and everyone partied. You ended with me, by myself, without Derek, without anyone as it turns out, trying to make sense of it all. I don't know why things happened this way, but how am I going to handle it? How am I going to handle when the clock hits 12 and the whole world parties, and I sit here wondering why? Well, this is part of my growth.
I'm letting what effects me effect me in the best way it can - or not at all. I'm looking at the world from a perspective beside myself - the glass is half full. 2011 will be my year. Not because that's the way the world turns, but because I will make it that way. I will be the positive life force, and a smiling face. I will not try to make sense of what is what. I will accept it. I will lean not on my own understanding, but trust The Lord with all my heart. (Proverbs 3:5) I will ask The Lord for peace. I can control my emotions and therefore, how I see the world around me.
2010 was, overall, a fantastic year. I can remember the awesome things far more than the bad things. I feel like, as a person, I've truly become myself. Or, rather, I'm learning about who I am. I feel like I have a better understanding of me, and the people around me, and just how the world works. I'm still progressing, but I truly feel like there is something bigger out there. My mind has been stretched.
I don't know, or care who is going to read this post - the post without any pretty photos or cheery words - but I'll post it anyway. It's time to get real.
2011 is about growing and finding myself even more. It's about learning what I want out of myself and what I want for my future. I'll be finishing my Junior year of highschool, and starting my Senior year. I'll be looking for colleges. I'll be posting even more on this damned-beautiful thing we call a blog. With all you wonderful people.
2010, you started with me and Derek laying under the stars in a sleeping bag staring at into the night's sky as 12 o'clock hit, and the cheers started and everyone partied. You ended with me, by myself, without Derek, without anyone as it turns out, trying to make sense of it all. I don't know why things happened this way, but how am I going to handle it? How am I going to handle when the clock hits 12 and the whole world parties, and I sit here wondering why? Well, this is part of my growth.
I'm letting what effects me effect me in the best way it can - or not at all. I'm looking at the world from a perspective beside myself - the glass is half full. 2011 will be my year. Not because that's the way the world turns, but because I will make it that way. I will be the positive life force, and a smiling face. I will not try to make sense of what is what. I will accept it. I will lean not on my own understanding, but trust The Lord with all my heart. (Proverbs 3:5) I will ask The Lord for peace. I can control my emotions and therefore, how I see the world around me.
I am grateful for so many things. And I will not forget it.
And how I feel now is not how I'm always going to feel.
It is not the end of the world.
And how I feel now is not how I'm always going to feel.
It is not the end of the world.
In fact, it's just a New Year.
2011, come and get me.
x,
Elanor
Elanor
I love this post!! Seriously. What a great attitude to have. Happy 2011 - I'm sure it will be awesome! : )
ReplyDeleteKF x
I hope you have a great 2011, and i'm sorry about Derek leaving for a month, i hope you survive! :)
ReplyDeleteHappy New Year!
Nicole xox
http://loveislikeawar.blogspot.com
i am so sorry about Derek leaving. :(
ReplyDeletei have been in a situation of a loved one leaving for a long period of time before..just surround yourself with amazing and loving people ..
i hope you have an AMAZING 2011!!! <3
xoox
You made me tear up a bit, missy. I can't wait to continue reading your blog and watch as you grow as a beautiful, wonderful person.
ReplyDeleteThis was really beautiful, thanks for sharing. Love that verse :)
ReplyDeletehttp://ittybittybomb.blogspot.com/
Elanor, it's so wonderful that you have such a positive attitude about 2011 and life and general. You're a very unique girl. Just keep havin' faith in things and I know everything will turn out for the best for you.
ReplyDeletexx Amanda
Great post dear! And dont worry - you will survive!
ReplyDeleteI know its easier said than done, I was away from Scott for 1 month in 2009. I was in greece he was in australia. The time difference meant there was a very limited window of time that I would be able to call him before he had to go to work or before he had to go to bed. The call rates were ridiculous too, and he didnt use the internet much either so there was no point contacting him that way. I cried for a few days... but one day turned into a week, a week into a month and soon enough I was at the airport with my arms wrapped around him.
I wish all the very best this year! Love reading your posts, pretty pictures or not ;)
xx christie
www.christie86.blogspot.com
sometimes real posts are necessary... thank you for being so honest and open. i'm sending you wishes for a joyful and peaceful 2011. you have jesus on your side, everything will be okay. <3 xo.
ReplyDeletetheres nothing bad at all about a "real" post that doesn't have pretty pictures or a cheery words, this was wonderful and honest. i hope you will be okay, you are a wonderful person and 2011 will be great for you, i can feel it. happy new year. :]
ReplyDeleteSending light and love your way, beautiful!!
ReplyDeleteI also look forward to 2011 and you've really inspired me to push myself, we can do anything we put our minds to! We can overcome anything. Cheers to growth and a new year!!
"Everything happens for a reason, people change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so you can appreciate them when they're right, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can come together." ~Marilyn Monroe
You look like you are in charge of your new year!! I hope everything goes wonderfully for you! A month will fly by ;) I went to Europe without the manfriend for 2 months and it went by in a flash!
ReplyDeleteShy
Okay ready! :) First off don't you worry about the whole boyfriend thing... stuff happens and sometimes it's hard, but you will be fine! :) I had a similar experience... but he moved to a different city, which isn't far... but still... distance sucks soooo badly! Anyway, I know you will find a way to make things work and this will definitely be your year :)!
ReplyDeleteLove,
Alex
You are wise beyond your years. It is so refreshing to see and read. You are writing things that I only realized after 25. You are going to be just. fine. <3
ReplyDeleteKristin
http://dollparade.blogspot.com