Disposables // #9

It's almost 2:30 am and here I am, back here, with a new perspective and also some new disposable photos. I guess I'm allowed to be up this late, because school has ended (Yeah, according to my recent blog posts, it seems I only just started... yet oops. It's June.) Can I just say a lot has changed since November. Ben and I broke up back in January, so the past few months have been about leaning on my friends – new and old. I have made a lot of new friends; some of which were always there, but only now have I given them a longer look. It's easy to get consumed with "boyfriend island" – definitely one of my downfalls. But here I am. Here and now.

In less than a week I'm going to be flying to Rome, Italy to study abroad for a month which will be the first time I'm traveling out of the country! I have so much anxiety about it (big surprise!) but a lot of it is excited nerves. Before Ben and I broke up, I was hesitant to leave the country this summer because I didn't know what it would mean for my relationship... fortunately that isn't an issue now, and I'm very thankful for this opportunity. I tell and retell myself everyday that everything happens for a reason. It must. I guess I don't know what to hold onto without that belief. I already have so little control; at least I can give up my need to control and just believe that everything will happen according to a plan; a plan that's better than anything I've thought of yet.

I didn't really love any photos that came out of this disposable. The year went by so fast and I don't think I really thought about photography or my silly disposable camera. I want to take more photos this summer and hopefully be a little more active on this blog. I say that every time I come back to post, but hopefully I can turn it around this time. At least try to show off things I've been working on lately – I'm studying visual communications at Seattle Pacific University and I think it's about time I make a website to show my portfolio. After all I'm going to be a senior soon. Any advice about that? How terrifying!!!!! :) :) :) Okay I think maybe I'll go to sleep now. Thanks for reading ?!?!

xoxoxoxoxo Elanor