Hello, hello! As promised, I haven't blatantly abandoned this blog. But I have had quite a while to think -- after all, I've been gone fourteen days. Fourteen days of traveling and living out of a suitcase and spending countless hours talking and interacting and living. I went to New York to see Nicole, and then Portland/Vancouver to see Rachael. To say the least, I am worn out (but didn't I expect that?) It gave me a lot of time to live without the computer at my right hand; especially in regards to blogging/reading other blogs/editing photos. Sharing my troubles about this blog with Nicole was beneficial for me because, as someone who has been a part of the blogosphere, she knows where I am coming from with my concerns. In fact, talking with her about all of it really helped me to see my problem with perspective.
I know I can get worked up; it's easy for me to make my whole life about blogging and about who I am with it and without it. But I realize it's important for me to separate myself from this blog -- I am not this blog. I think that it's difficult for me to separate myself from Missing Lovebirds because I am constantly seeking identity; in something, in someone, in anything. This is a flaw. If you can believe it, I wrote my college essays about seeking AND FINDING my identity in this blog. That just goes to show you how interwoven I am with it. I see it as my worth and all my worth. It's crappy. I don't like feeling this way.
But like I said, being away for a bit has given me perspective and it has been an encouraging few days. I've discovered that part of the reason I don't want to blog about personal style anymore is because it feels like an uphill battle -- constantly trying to put together a more interesting outfit. And this means that simplicity is out of the question. But simplicity is where my style is going. I am wearing more black, more jeans, more solids, and (let's be real) my docs everyday. I just don't want to keep feeling like I have to prove myself. I want to be free.
I have a lot to say. Sometimes I forget that. I want to reel that in -- I want Missing Lovebirds to be mine again; to be something for myself. As one commenter said, a diary of sorts. It will be nice to practice my writing. I'm bad at being concise as you'll find out; and on the other hand, I'm great at rambling. That all being said, I don't want to make any promises about anything, but for now I'm just going to take it one post at a time, how's that?