8/25/13

Thoughts

Lately I've been finding it more and more difficult to blog here. I feel like I don't really have worthwhile content anymore and I keep telling myself, if you were a better photographer, it would be better... if you owned a better camera, it would be better... if you were a better writer... if you had more interesting thoughts... if you did more interesting things... It's an endless cycle and to be honest, when I try to look at this from an outside perspective, what I see is someone trying too hard. Is the passion for this blog still there? I take outfit photos -- but definitely a lot less than when I first started getting into this blog. The problem is, I don't really like the results that I'm producing. Maybe I'm unhappy with how I look; maybe I'm unhappy with my style. I just don't feel good enough and I don't feel like I have the motivation to make myself good enough.

I've avoided unearthing this topic because I'm really quite a pro at just continuing on -- avoiding my feelings and not coming to terms with things. That's what I've done here. I think I've had these growing feelings for a while now but I have tried to convince myself that I've remedied them in some way. I don't think I have. I think they sat and they've bubbled and I've just kept lying to myself.

I'm unsure what to do. Being completely honest with you... I don't know who I'd be without this blog and that scares me. If you have any advice, I'd love to hear it. Thanks, you guys. xx

18 comments:

  1. hello, miss elanor. personally, i have been a long time fan of yours. probably since... august of '11? i am just in love with your posts, whether they be photos of experiences, outfits, food - whatever they may be, i love it! especially seeing the text helps me kind of peek into your life - not to sound creepy or anything, but i simply LOVE learning about how other bloggers live their lives; you just happen to be one of them! :)
    you've been a major inspiration to me, as i discovered your blog the same month i entered high school, and you've truly helped me blossom as both a fashionista and as a person. i feel i can always trust you'll deliver some inspiring post that encourages me to be more than i am at the present moment. if you abandoned missing lovebirds, i'd just be heartbroken. of course, in the end it is truly up to you, but i want you to know from a fan who has been cheering you on every step of the way that i would have a little missing lovebirds hole in my heart that will never quite be patched up the same way.

    perhaps i'm just a rambling teenager. meh. however, i want to thank you on a multitude of levels for your effect on my life. and i implore you to continue your website, whether it completely change gears, remain the same, or something full of gradual changes. i'll always stick around to see what you have in store. ;) have a great one. ♥

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  2. I'm feeling the same way about my blog lately too! I don't bloggers should think of themselves as "good enough", or is this "good enough". Blogs a personal space and everything that you choose to share is good enough. Even if I only had one reader, it would be good enough because it's a reflection of me and I know that I, as a person, am good enough.
    Keep your head up high and keep going, hun! Don't stop because you don't think others like your blog, stop when you don't want to do it anymore. But never think you or your content is not good enough.

    xo Jennifer

    http://seekingstyleblog.wordpress.com

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  3. Well, I don't think your life is boring first of all. Just seeing your face makes me smile because, even though blogging really only shows one small part of you, I feel like I've gotten to know you and that you're one of my blogging friends (aka, a real friend, but just someone that I've never met in person). So just for that reason, I love reading your blog and seeing your pictures. And honestly, I think you write better than I do. I love your posts!

    I definitely do think that you should have a passion for it though. I mean, I wish I could give you good advice ... maybe blog less? Or take a break? Or maybe sit down at the beginning of the month and write out on a calendar some blogging ideas? ... but whatever you decide, know that you're one of my favorite bloggers, and I'm forbidding you from leaving instagram because I still want to be a creeper and know what you're up to from time to time. ;)

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  4. I think we all have those moments of doubt about our blog. I had them too. Sometimes I also think about things like 'maybe if I did more interesting things' 'maybe if I did more outfit posts'. But that's not the point. That's not important. First of all, you should blog for yourself.

    When reading your blog, I always find you honest and true. That is one of the many reasons why I love reading your blog. I have been reading for a long time now :)

    I'm not interested in seeing someones new fancy clothes or Prada bag. I think a blog can turn into a little journal. A journal that we share with others. I know many bloggers (myself included) like to only point out the good things happening in life but life isn't that perfect. Nobody's life is perfect and happy all the time.

    I would be very sad if you would stop blogging... <3

    Love,
    Sara




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  5. I've only been following your blog for about half a year, but I always enjoy reading it! Your general aesthetic is very calming and your posts and pictures are great quality. I know everyone goes through personal periods of feeling like what they are doing isn't quite right or lacking inspiration. I think that if blogging becomes a chore or something you dread, take a short break! Disconnect for awhile and reevaluate what you want. No matter what you decide, I know I will continue to follow your blog, as will many others, and wish you the best of luck! Just know that your pictures, posts, and life inspire a lot of people, even complete strangers like me!

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  6. I would suggest taking away the pressure of blogging and what to blog. Find what makes you happy to write about and what comes easy and naturally. To get back to feeling good about blogging, you need to start blogging just for yourself again. Also, stop reading other blogs. That will take away the comparison issue. It's important to have the ability to find value in what you produce and create and sometimes it's hard to see that amongst all the creative noise.

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  7. I think every blogger goes through this. I have been there many times. But the most important thing, at least for me, is to blog for me, not for anybody else. Take your blog as a diary of sorts. A place to keep great memories and experiences.

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  8. There is sadly a lot of "not good enough" that goes with blogging, which is the reason I stopped too. I felt like if I was only going to post mediocre stuff once and awhile then what was the point. But a 2 year hiatus and guess what..... started a new blog! haha and this one feels more me, more quality, and more of what I want to do! I didn't feel like I was some outfit aficionado so i didn't want to do style. I also work 9 hours a day at a boring job and live in a tiny apartment so my lifestyle didn't seem interesting. But exploring photography on our little travels. That is what I love! I lost most of my followers though and while it's been tough to gain them back, I truly feel this blog is worth it.

    That being said I absolutely love your blog and have been following forever! I certainly don't want to see you leave as I always look forward to your posts. I would understand if you wanted to take a break but I would miss you!

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  9. I've never commented before, but I must say that I always look forward to your posts BECAUSE they're so down-to-earth. You are a busy college kid who still lives a creative lifestyle, in the way you dress, the way you spend your time, and the way you process these things through this blog! You encourage me to be expressive, honestly, and I really appreciate that!

    If you feel you need a break from blogging, take it! This is your space, and your time, and you need to do what you need to do. But if you do choose to leave for a bit, or for a while, you will be missed!

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  10. Wow! What great comments! All of them are encouraging. Your blog does not justify you, my darling. This blog has been part of the bigger plan for your life - while you are feeling a bit discouraged right now, please remember that wonderful things have come out of your blog - both for you and for others. Glad you aren't shoving away your feelings - it's good that you are trying to figure it all out. Don't forget to give praise too ~~ xoxoxo

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  11. Oh Darling- your blog doesn't make you good enough, your style doesn't make you good enough, the type of camera you have doesn't make you good enough; you ARE good enough. You are enough. I know how hard this blogging thing can be, like a rat race of who can be more popular or who can get the most comments/followers/stats, when it's not supposed to feel this way. But when you look past this frustration, your blog is solely for YOU. To better understand yourself, other people, and the world around you. To remember and celebrate and vent and just BE. Don't stay where you are no longer comfortable, but don't leave because you don't feel like you're interesting enough. People are still around because they find you interesting, whether you think you are or not. And if there's another direction you want to go in, those same people will follow you wherever you go because they love who you are. Just remember what this blogging journey is about, and how unique YOUR voice is in our community, and how much you'll be missed if you go. Think long and hard, doll, as it's such a big part of your life.
    xx

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  12. The way I look at it is that we are all out here in cyber-space blogging. We are all winners by being here and putting our stuff out there for the world to see.

    People I work with have told me that I don't do this or don't do that and I need to do this or that. I tell them great-do what you want on your blog and leave me alone to do mine. None of them have.

    I feel about blogging like what someone told me about dancing: There is no right or wrong way but just do it."


    csuhpat1.blogspot.com

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  13. Hello, I've been following your blog for several months and I really love it! I am a creative professional and I can absolutely relate to your train of thought...not feeling like "enough" in some way can be such a mental trap-thinking about what is lacking doesn't change anything, it just makes one feel worse. From my perspective, your photographs are beautiful (as are you), your vision is compelling and so clear, and your music choices and outfits are so fun and refreshing. In other words, I'm selfishly saying "don't stop!" However, it really doesn't matter if I love what you're doing, it only matters if you love doing it. No matter what you do, I think you're great and brave for putting your thoughts out into the world. Good luck, Erin

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  14. I eventually came to realize that my blog didn't need to be anything other than what it felt good for it to be. For me, that actually meant abandoning it altogether. Taking photos of yourself and your clothes can easily do absolutely bizarre, oppressive things to your self-image, no matter how secure you thought you were before. And if blogging isn't bringing you any joy, or if it feels like you're wearing or photographing the things you are just to blog them, it might be worth taking a little break.

    You can totally change directions (Annebeth from The Styling Dutchman is my fave example of this), change your post frequency, whatever. Ultimately, I'm guessing you made this blog to have fun and make friends. If it's not fun anymore, that's fine - and some of those friends are here to stay on your internets :)

    xx
    Sophi

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  15. oh, sweet Elanor. I believe that we all get into our slumps and our, "Why am I still doing this?" phases. Perhaps it would help you to look back at your beginning posts to find what it was that made you spark and write like you felt inspired, you know? I really am interested in what you read and what you post, and your photography IS amazing. You don't need a better camera, you don't need to "write better," because you already do all of those things right now. You have the most creative little ways of seeing things with your camera and I always love scrolling through your posts to see that.

    Of course, a break might help, because you can't always force things, or maybe even writing about something else or trying something new. I really do love that you're so open with your readers and that your blog is very "you," but if you feel that you want to swerve into another direction, I know you'll be able to do it successfully. I don't know if any of what I said rang clear with you, but I hope that you know I'll always be here readin' along with ya no matter what, you lovely lady, you!

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  16. Elanor I've been your friend now since hmm... I don't know 6th grade. Your blog has always been an extension of who you are and I love reading your posts because sometimes you share things on here that I wouldn't even know about if I didn't read your blog. Over the years your blog has developed into something more than just a style blog, and recently I feel like your posts show a greater sense of who you are, and I love it. I don't care if you don't post every other day anymore, because in the end what you do post has become more true to the heart. Reading your blog during those college months where we're miles away has helped me to still feel like a part of your life, and I'm sure your readers feel that as well. Don't question if you're good enough, or interesting enough. I have always looked up to you, and honestly there are some days where I just wish that I could be more like you. You have always been honest to your readers and truthfull about your life so I'm glad that you've shared your feelings about blogging as of late. Just know that you are an inspiration so whatever you choose to do with your blog, people will admire you for it.

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  17. Firstly, I want you to know that I love your blog and your aesthetics. You already take fantastic pictures and write well. I can see wanting to be better, but don't let perfect get in the way of the good. Instead focus on whether the blog is making you happy and/or enriching your life or making it worse. Respond accordingly. Though we'd all miss you if you took a break or cut back on posts, it is more important that you feel happy.

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  18. i like Kristian's advice. i was going through a similar thing but realized i was just stressing myself out too much and needed to cut back, so now i'm posting 3x a week. i'd say maybe go through posts and see which you enjoyed making and which you didn't? i know sometimes blogging can seem like a chore to me but i try to put on enjoyable music and focus on what i want to improve, like my photography. and if you decide it's just not worth it to blog anymore though, that's a totally understandable feeling as well!
    Cuddly Cacti
    Mitla Moda

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